(apple)mac geek

I’ve been tagged by Carl who Dave Gale decided was worthy of blogtag: “sharing five things about themselves that relatively few people know, and then tagging five other bloggers to be ‘it’. He tagged [2] Mike who got [3] Dave Duarte [4] Carl Spies [5] Scott Gray [6] Peas on Toast and [7] Max Kaizen. They’ve probably already written interesting and meaningful stuff (Max has about Richard Feynmann at any rate)…so here’s my contribution:

I was nearly kicked out of an internet security class at varsity for hacking other students computers. But in my defence, your Honour, we were all sitting in one class and it really was a security class and all of the computers were unprotected Windows NT boxes (permissions?! What permissions?!) and all I did was put a picture of a donkey making a silly face with the caption, “Get back to work!” on it as the IIS home page of a few unsecured computers…and showed one or two of my friends how to do the same thing. Yes, I concede that I probably shouldn’t have written in big red letters in <font size=”spammer-enhanced-largeness”> “YOU’VE BEEN HACKED!!!” Probably not that helpful in my defense, right? But it was pretty cool how the lecturer got cross and then the demi (RAU-speak for “assistant”) shouted at us and told the hacker to own up…because after I stood up and owned up and apologised (after he threatened to pull the access logs) he calmed down and let me stay – and seemed to feel a bit bad about the shouting bit. That’s where I first learnt the meaning of “street cred.” So I plead guilty. Lock me up with only Windows and a Telkom connection to access the net.

I’m learning to play the cello. Well, since last year at least – and it’s difficult. The bow must be held just so with just the right amount of pressure and stay parallel to the strings but the weight comes from the arm and…well, let’s just say there’s some way to go until I’m jazzing it up.

My superhero name is “Splotchy Tan Man”! I have my friend Kath to thank for this. Well – her, factor 50 suntan lotion, a December sun in Natures Valley and a rather “slappy” approach to personal lotion application. There are pictures but I’m trying to keep them hidden. My superhero costume is a speedo and a towel…and a tan so splotchy that people on the beach stare.

My useless talent is estimating how far it is to that hill faaaar in the distance. It doesn’t get more useless than that – unless you’re trying to shell an enemy position and your GPS rangefinder is down and that cool satellite laser weapon they have in Command&Conquer hasn’t been invented yet…who do you turn to? Me! Pick me evil army-type person guy!

I love the Goon Show. Just brilliant. “He’s fallen in the wa-ter!” brings a small tear of joy every time. As does hearing my favourite on-air couple: Minnie (you devil, you!) and Henry (Mor-NING!) taking their evening constitution in Bexley-on-Sea. “These cigarettes are strong, Henry.” “Yee-ee-es, Minnie. … Better not light them!” My collection is much smaller than I’d like it to be.

My favourite childhood TV series was Robotech. If I had to choose an imaginary world to live in it would be the Robotech world. I used to imagine wearing the Robotech armour, using the shoulder-mounted laser (before that stupid grey-suited monocled guy got everyone using air quotes) and rockets and then shooting with more powerful lasers on my BMX/Robotech fighter (imagine my delight when, in the last series, the soldiers had different coloured bikes which transformed into airborne fighting mecca…::delight!::). But coolest was the mecca at home (translation: “mecca” = “Robotech fighting equipment, usually a fighter which can transform in a humanoid robot with some nifty background music”). In my garden is a loquat tree which my friend Philip – who lived down the road – and I would climb and power up. Our afternoons were spent shooting down incoming enemy fighters (with appropriate sound effects and evasive actions). The tree gave me a handily positioned joystick and separate throttle/fire control as well as two seating levels and some awesome combat possibilities. Philip took care of navigation, weapons deployment and repairs while I flew the Mecca. Boy, if any aliens decided to try to take over our planet by invading my back garden first – THEY were in for a suprise!

And I’m passing on the favour to: Carly, Dave, Mandy, Brett and Spooh. You’re on! (You’re “it” is soooo American, although if you blame Calvin & Hobbes then I’m ok with that).

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